Coldness creeps in, like twilight shadows,

across the plains of my soul.

Darkness surrounds me, leaving only a mercurial glint

of hope on the horizon.

Desperation chokes off my lifeline to reality.

Regrets pileup like drifts of wind-blown snow,

Blocking escape from the frozen wasteland of

self-doubt and second guesses.

Searching for answers, reason, a safe passage,

I turn to the past, the familiar,

only to realize that they too have abandoned me

like other fair-weather friends, to fend for myself.

Existence is at stake,

As in tug-of-war between goodness and the void

I am pulled in all directions.

Stretched to transparency

I begin to succumb, but the scintilla

of possibility catches me as I falter.

With its gossamer threads I am spared

Ceaseless agony and ignorance, to survive

I must fight with all I have left.

Justified in my resolve, I cling

To my spider's-web of security, daring to test

the tether lines of my own self-confidence.

Hand-over-hand I rise

From the pit, toward the glimmer,

ever conscious of the reverse.

If ever existed the need

For assistance, it is now.

As my strength is tested

Beyond all comprehendible limits, the hope

of a future, any future, now compels me forward

The light,

The warmth,

The spring.

1/2/95